The road to Freedom is through the doorway of Forgiveness.
Let me qualify what I am about to say because you asked what we believe....what I used to believe and what I believe now are two different things!
I struggled with forgiveness for many many many years. I was never told to forget it, but I was told to forgive. I finally forgave because I needed to do it for me. I needed to be free! I needed to get rid of the hurt, the shame, the pain, the agony. There is freedom in forgiveness.
Will I ever forget....no and I don't think I am supposed to forget because as I have said before, God is taking my Mess and turning it into a Message. If I forget, then I can't help others who have suffered what I have suffered. Only those who have walked in shoes as ourselves can really help us understand. That is why this forum is here. We are not suppose to forget, we are supposed to support others by confirming to them that we understand and that we are compassionate towards them because we have walked in their shoes.
For many many many years, I carried the hurt, the pain, the shame. I cried the river of tears until I felt like I couldn't cry anymore. I wrote letters to all of my abusers and some I sent and some I didn't. I got all of it out and when I did, I was finally free! The hurt, pain and shame are not good things, they are not positive things, so if I wanted good and positive things in my life, then I needed to be able to FREE those things from within me. I had to find a way to do it and the only way I was able to was to forgive. I have come to know that those negative things are what can hold you back from the greatness within you. We are all here for a reason, we are all here for a purpose, we are all here for a mission and when we are at our best we can fill that with the best of ourselves.
The four most life changing words I have ever read that made my eyes flood with tears were these:
Wow, when I read that I was like Woah...Those words came from a book called You can Heal Your life by Louise L. Hays. It is one of the BEST books I have ever read and still read today to help me to keep healing ( I bought the Gift Book collection with 3 books in it. Meditations to Heal your life and the companion book-work book to go along with the book it self. The amazing drawings and beauty of these books will warm your heart. If it is time for you to heal and you just need something that will help, then I highly recommend them.
Anyway, back to Hurt People, Hurt People...step outside of yourself for just a moment and think of someone who has hurt you, someone you know a lot about. Were they ever hurt? What was their childhood like? What pain and suffering did they deal with? What kind of childhood would create an adult like the person who hurt you?
When you can step outside of your own pain and look at someone else's that can give you a totally different perspective on why they hurt you. I cried a river of tears when I did that! I was then able to forgive easier. I couldn't free myself until I freed them. I couldn't forgive myself until I forgave them. Once I released them from the prison, I was then free.
The past is over and done, I can't change it now. What I can change are my thoughts about the past. It would be foolish of me to punish myself in the present moment because of the hurt from so long ago. At one time I didn't know how to forgive and I didn't want to forgive, but the very fact that we say we are willing to forgive begins the healing process. It was important for my own healing that I release the past and forgave.
Here is a quote from her book, I felt it would be appropriate to share..."The very person you find it hardest to forgive is the one YOU NEED TO LET GO OF THE MOST. Forgiveness means giving up, letting go. It has nothing to do with condoning behavior. It's just letting the whole thing go. We do not have to know HOW to forgive. All we need to do is be WILLING to forgive. The Universe (Jesus for me) will take care of the "hows".
We understand our own pain so well. How hard it is for most of us to understand that THEY, whoever they are we need most to forgive were also in pain. We need to understand that they were doing the best they could with the understanding, awareness and knowledge they had at the time."
So there ya go, it is a process, it is a journey, it is all a part of healing and being FREE. Is it easy...noooooooooooooo, but is it worth it, yesssssssssssss.
I love each and everyone of you and support you thru this journey. Love yourself, be gentle with yourself, be kind to yourself and look into the mirror today and tell yourself how beautiful you are....because you know what the Truth is....YOU ARE!
Your healing sister,
Debra
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Seek Love
Today's Scripture
“The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (I Samuel 16:7 NIV).
Today's Word from Joel and Victoria
Is there someone in your life who has wronged or offended you? Maybe it was intentional, or maybe they don't even know they've hurt you. No matter what the circumstance, as believers, we are called to forgive. When we forgive, we seek love, and the Bible says that God is love. If we don't forgive, we are turning in the opposite direction--away from God. Choosing forgiveness doesn't excuse the other person's behavior. It simply releases the debt they owe you so that God can release the debt you owe Him. Forgiveness opens the door so that you can be free! I've heard it said that forgiveness is giving up hope for a better past. Choose today to let go of the past and look towards the future. Seek love by choosing forgiveness. And once you do, as the verse says, don't bring up the issue anymore. Move forward and let God be your vindicator. Remember, He promises to take what the enemy meant for evil and turn it around for your good! Seek love today. Seek forgiveness and choose to step into the abundant future God has in store for you!
A Prayer for Today
Heavenly Father, today I seek love by choosing forgiveness. I open my heart to You today and ask You to heal my hurts. I look forward to the future You have for me. Help me be a testimony of yYour love and forgiveness to those around me today. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
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Max has such an incredible way of sharing the Truth! When we have wronged someone or been wronged by others there is someone who cave "save" us if we will just look to him!
When We Miss the Target
by Max Lucado
Read the first verse of Matthew's gospel. Jesus knew David's ways. He witnessed the adultery, winced at the murders, and grieved at the dishonesty. But David's failures didn't change Jesus' relation to David. The initial verse of the first chapter of the first gospel calls Christ "the son of David" (Matt. 1:1 KJV). The title contains no disclaimers, explanations, or asterisks. I'd have added a footnote: "This connection in no way offers tacit approval to David's behavior." No such words appear. David blew it. Jesus knew it. But he claimed David anyway.
He did for David what my father did for my brother and me.
Back in our elementary school days, my brother received a BB gun for Christmas. We immediately set up a firing range in the backyard and spent the afternoon shooting at an archery target. Growing bored with the ease of hitting the circle, my brother sent me to fetch a hand mirror. He placed the gun backward on his shoulder, spotted the archery bull's-eye in the mirror, and did his best Buffalo Bill imitation. But he missed the target. He also missed the storehouse behind the target and the fence behind the storehouse.. We had no idea where the BB pellet flew. Our neighbor across the alley knew, however. He soon appeared at the back fence, asking who had shot the BB gun and who was going to pay for his sliding-glass door.
At this point I disowned my brother. I changed my last name and claimed to be a holiday visitor from Canada. My father was more noble than I. Hearing the noise, he appeared in the backyard, freshly rousted from his Christmas Day nap, and talked with the neighbor.
Among his words were these:
"Yes, they are my children."
"Yes, I'll pay for their mistakes."
Christ says the same about you. He knows you miss the target. He knows you can't pay for your mistakes. But he can. "God sent Jesus to take the punishment for our sins" (Rom. 3:25 NLT).
Since he was sinless, he could.
Since he loves you, he did. "This is real love. It is not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins" (1 John 4:10 NLT).
He became one of us to redeem all of us. "Jesus, who makes people holy, and those who are made holy are from the same family. So he is not ashamed to call them his brothers and sisters" (Heb. 2:11 NCV).
He wasn't ashamed of David. He isn't ashamed of you. He calls you
brother; he calls you sister. The question is, doyou call him Savior?
From Facing Your Giants
Copyright (W Publishing Group, 2006) Max Lucado
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10/20/2007
I felt it was important to add some more information to this page because this subject is so very important. To forgive can be very difficult, but is very necessary if you want to get rid of bitterness, guilt, past hurts and so many other yucky emotions! The day that I asked God to forgive me for all that I had done was truly a life changing day. He saved me and wiped away all that anger, bitterness and resentment that I had carried for years. It set me truly free! I cried out, God, please forgive me for all that I have done. Show me who I need to forgive and allow me the grace to forgive all of the people who have hurt me or wronged me. One by one God brought people into my mind. It started a new life for me and I started seeking those people out and asking them to forgive me. There are people who HURT ME and I was calling them and saying, I am sorry and showed them love and kindness...which then lead to incredible stories of healing for both of us. I am still calling people and writing people to this day. With every letter and every phone call it does something inside. It is though my insides are being driven through a car wash and becoming clean. I FEEL amazing inside, light and FREE. It is not something that is easy to write or explain, but trust that when it happens you can experience the same exact feeling. If you desire to feel new, to feel clean, to have a new life, all you need to do is cry out. You may not even believe in God, but he believes in you! He created you, he gave you life and his desire is to help you live a life worth living. Many of us carry wounds around that just fester and never heal. He wants to be the physician to heal those wounds. He says if you will have the Faith of a mustard seed and believe that I am real, I will help you.
God already knows your heart. He knows how you feel about him and he knows why. You might not even understand who he is or what he is about...but he knows and understands you. Just have a little Faith, that is all that is needed. He loves you so much he sent his ONLY son to die on a cross. Jesus was battered, beaten, spit on and abused so we could be set free. All of our wrongs from the past were nailed on the cross with him. He did something for you that you may not even realize. The day I understood that I fell in Love with him. He changed my life. I used to be a walking dead person. I was barely getting through the day, some I just slept through. My life is so different now. I am full of Joy and Peace and all I want to do is Love people. I was so far down but because I was willing to forgive and ask God to forgive me, he pulled me up!
It all began with forgiveness! If you have been hurt and want to be healed, call out and he will hear you. I pray for you right now...Father in heaven, who ever may be reading these words I pray that they are piercing their heart. I pray they will seek you and draw close to you, Your words says "draw close to me and I will draw close to you". Lord there may be someone who doesn't understand you. There may be someone who hates you because they believed that you should have protected them from being hurt. Lord have mercy on them, I too felt the same way. But I now know Lord that it happened for a very specific reason. I have experience and wisdom from those hurts that can help comfort and encourage others because I understand. Please, Lord, I pray that you will speak to their hearts and show them how you can use all the bad and turn it into good. That is what you showed me Lord and that is why this website exists. Let them feel to the depths of their soul that today is a new day. You know all of our hearts Lord, please show them mercy and show them your grace and allow them to feel your love. Reveal the truth to them God. Scoop them up in your loving arms and wipe away their tears, free them from the pain, the hurt, the suffering they have endured for so many years. God, I know you are an awesome God who wipes away our tears and can bring us new beginnings. Let the one who is reading these words be given a new beginning today. As they put their faith in you even if it is as small as a mustard seed; Your word says that you can work with that. I pray for their peace. I pray for their hearts, that you will help lighten the hurt that has been there for so very long. There may be pain that is there they don't even remember. They have buried it and forgotten it but you know it is there and your desire is to pull it all out by the root! Free them today Lord and reveal yourself to them in such a strong way that their mustard seed Faith grows instantly. All things are possible with you God and I pray all of this in the name of your sweet Son Jesus.
Amen,
Debra
"Those who have Sinned much,
are Forgiven much and Love much!"
Do you wonder how I can love so much?? Read on to understand!
From the Book of Luke Chapter 7..the book that changed my life and set me free!
A sinful woman~a harlot~the town tramp~ was completely forgiven and set free!
If God can set me FREE, he can surely set you FREE!!! I was the woman in the story and I got down and washed his feet with my own tears. I cried and asked for forgiveness and he said
"Your Faith has saved you, go in Peace."!
Luke 7:36-50 (New International Reader's Version)
A Sinful Woman Pours Perfume on Jesus
36 One of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him. So he went to the Pharisee's house. He took his place at the table.37 There was a woman in that town who had lived a sinful life. She learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house. So she came with a special sealed jar of perfume. 38 She stood behind Jesus and cried at his feet. She began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair. She kissed them and poured perfume on them.
39 The Pharisee who had invited Jesus saw this. He said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him. He would know what kind of woman she is. She is a sinner!"
40 Jesus answered him, "Simon, I have something to tell you."
"Tell me, teacher," he said.
41 "Two people owed money to a certain lender. One owed him 500 silver coins. The other owed him 50 silver coins. 42 Neither of them had the money to pay him back. So he let them go without paying. Which of them will love him more?"
43 Simon replied, "I suppose the one who owed the most money."
"You are right," Jesus said.
44 Then he turned toward the woman. He said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water to wash my feet. But she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45 You did not give me a kiss. But this woman has not stopped kissing my feet since I came in. 46 You did not put any olive oil on my head. But she has poured perfume on my feet. 47 So I tell you this. Her many sins have been forgiven. She has loved a lot. But the one who has been forgiven little loves only a little."
48 Then Jesus said to her, "Your sins are forgiven."
49 The other guests began to talk about this among themselves. They said, "Who is this who even forgives sins?"
50 Jesus said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you. Go in peace."
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Here are some views on freedom that I found interesting and thought provoking.
On freedom
"Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us."
-- Stephen Covey
A Greek myth can help us understand the freedom that comes with power of choice.
In the Underworld, Sisyphus was condemned to roll a large stone up a hill from which it always rolled down again. Realistically, he was trapped in an endless cycle of rolling the stone. When he perceived himself to be imprisoned by the curse, he was a victim.
At one point, however, he turned the tables -- he changed his mind and decided to CHOOSE to roll the stone up the hill. In doing so, he empowered himself and defused the curse.
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you."
-- Jean-Paul Sartre
"One cannot make a slave of a free person, for a free person is free even in a prison."
-- Plato
